Monday, February 8, 2010

Creative Writing # 2:
Once upon a time, there was a rather small boy who roamed the lands of DippidyDoo where he lived among animals and creatures alike. Day was night, and night was day as all animals and creatures alike and the small boy Phillipe woke up to twinkling stars in the sky and grasshoppers chirping in the grass and fields of primroses. The night was always shaded with blues and pinks due to the 3 abnormal moons circling DippidyDoo.
Now little Phillipe, ever since the day he was born from an evergreen tree has worn an orange turban he calls his "bootchka". It was bestowed upon him by the midget nymphs who guarded the sacred evergreen tree Phillipe was born from. Now it was told in prophecies all across the land that a little man riding a barder would fly across lands and die harder... Of course these were all thought to be fairy tales and the prophet who told it died before he could finish what he was saying.
One fine evening Phillipe was being extra adventurous and climbed the craggy cliffs of kicklickingstickerwick when he stumbled across a secret sealed cavern.. "Dunh Dunh Dunh!!!!!" He decided he was going to take a nap and leaned against a sloping wall when suddenly it fell away with a giant "kracksnacklepop!" and he was inside a well lit cavern. Phillipe got up off of the floor and dusted off his primitive clothing and decided to walk to the back of the cavern. As he got closer and closer to the back of the cavern and was approaching a corner he heard a faint barking noise. Phillipe picked up the pace and ran on the walls until he reached the source of the barking/yelping. It was the legendary dog Barder, the last of its kind!!! Barder was so happy to see someone or something for the first time in a long time that he allowed Phillipe to get on his back and the both started floating off the ground! The prophecy had at that moment started fulfilling itself and news spread all across the lands of DippidyDoo! But we will never know what the ending of the prophecy really meant...

Monday, February 1, 2010

One beautiful spring morning, Jorge Del Putin was making his way through the streets of Dubai, strolling with a beautiful smile on his face. What many people do not know about Jorge is that he is the worlds best assassin! The unique skill that he possesses that helps him to be the best is his charming looks and look of innocence that makes people think "awww he couldn't hurt a flea!!" Also he has been in the business of killing for so many years that he no longer needs weapons to kill, but can use his own body as a weapon and even kill a man with his pinky toe!!
So as Jorge is walking around, going on his merry way, he is secretly harboring a mission that he was sent on to kill the President of Dubai, Ali Baba Ketcha Papa (the father of all men as he is called). Jorge casually pulls out a book from his back pocket and starts reading it while he walks. This is a ploy to make people think that he is really not paying attention to details or anything while he is walking. In actuality, in a matter of seconds Jorge took in every minute detail from the baker down the street cussing out his employee in Latin, to a bumble bee attacking a little child a mile down the road. At the same time, Jorge was soaking in every word his book, You Too Can Be Beautiful. But suddenly for the first time, Jorge is surprised as an atomic bomb smashes into the central streets of Dubai, obliterating everything in its path including the worlds best assassin... The look you see in this picture is the look of surprise that Jorge had on his face. The last words that he ever read were "If you are reading this book, you are really a loser...." And so passed away Jorge Del Putin..!!